Gwen Stefani finally gave birth to a baby boy today, and she must’ve been super pissed at the kid for staying in there so long because she named him Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale. I mean, Jesus, lady, so what if he came out and was already four years old? That’s no excuse - but I’m willing to forgive you because you’re hot. Let it never be said I’m not a fair and generous writer of boobs. Now go in peace and maybe, while you’re at it, think about how awesome it would if you wore a bikini. Just puttin’ it out there.
Congratulations to Gwen and Gavin from The Superficial!
Lindsay Lohan decided not to wear a bra yesterday which resulted in a plethora of side-boob viewage. That said, I can’t tell if these pics are hot considering Lindsay’s body looks exactly like E.T.’s pale brother, What’s-His-Face? Oh, right: Kirsten Dunst.
Joe Francis continued his holy quest of everything good and righteous and nipplely by approaching model/reality star Brittny Gastineau last night outside of Crown Bar. I think I speak for all of us when I say “This man should be our president.” Not only would I campaign for Joe Francis, but I’d even consider putting on pants and going out to vote. Maybe. If there’s an Ice Road Truckers marathon on that day, I’m not making any promises. It’s trucks on ice, people!
EDIT: And, no, the irony that Brittny is standing on a street corner is not lost on me. Classy!
When she’s not single-handedly destroying the image of a Dallas-based brewery, Jessica Simpson likes to take time out from her busy schedule to snoop through Tony Romo’s cell phone which is how she knew his ex Carrie Underwood was lying when she recently said Tony still calls her. You bagged yourself a keeper, Tony. NY Daily News reports:
“Tony and I both laughed at that,” Simpson told Nashville radio station 107.5 The River. “We got a chuckle out of it.”
Underwood’s comments are “definitely” not true, Simpson said. So … how does she know this?
“I looked at his call log.”
I wanted to say something about Jessica Simpson’s flagrant display of cattiness, but frankly, I’m impressed she not only knows how to operate a cell phone but didn’t swallow it in the process. It’s like, you want to be mad, but at the same time “Wow!”
Tori Spelling’s husband Dean McDermott is pissed she dropped out of the 90210 remake after she learned she’d be making 10 grand an episode less than Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty. Dean was hoping to score himself a gig despite the fact a trained chimp could tell you this show won’t make it past October. Back me up, Coco. Or shove a banana in the printer; that works too. Star reports:
Tori told Dean that she wasn’t going to accept less money than her costars, Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth, “especially when it was her father who created the original show,” says a source close to Dean. “He told her that they should have worked something out before she made an abrupt decision because now he can’t even be on the show!”
If your only chance of finding acting work is mooching off your wife’s participation in a shitty remake of a shitty 90’s show, it’s time to look for a new career. Now, I don’t want to get your hopes up, Dean, but I hear after a week at Starbucks they let you use the Frappucino maker. We truly do live in the land of opportunity.
Tila Tequila’s new girlfriend Courtenay Semel found herself in the drunk tank after getting in a fight with security outside a Vegas nightclub. Beforehand, she was having dinner with Kourtney Kardashian who was taping an episode of her reality show Keeping up with the Kardashians. So, for the five people who watch the show, you’re in for a night of drunklarity featuring Z-List celebrities. Huzzah! Page Six reports:
Later, Kardashian called it a night and Semel went out to Pure at Caesars with Vegas showman Jeff Beacher - and proceeded to “go nuts,” a spy said. “Courtenay got so drunk she was falling down. Security asked her to leave, but she refused.” Semel finally left, but on her way out there was an altercation with a security guard. “She was arrested and spent the night in jail,” a Semel pal confirmed. “And she lost her phone.”
Some people might be wondering, where was Tila? Oh, she was there alright, but, uh, how do I put this? You see, kids, Tila Tequila is very tiny which allows her to fit “places” that only Mommies and Daddies who love each other should go….
Valerie was just hanging out by the pool when OG Mudbone shocked her with his massive monster cock. He let her suck his dick by the pool before he took her home and destroyed her tight pussy.
